Down Heather Lane: guest post

Motherhood guest post #7

11:44 AM

My dear friend Kim is my next motherhood guest. We both got married on the same day and had our babies six days apart! Crazy stuff right there. It was fun to have another person that was going through all that fun pregnancy stuff with you!

"Last June (one week after our first year anniversary), I found out I was pregnant! Me? Right now? Heavenly Father, are you sure about this? I'm a dance major and not ready to be a Mom yet. I still have to finish school! Plus Aaron and I are just getting the hang of married life and everything that that entails. I was frustrated. This wasn't my plan, nor did I feel it was my time to be a stay at home mommy...it just didn't sound that glamorous to me. I had seen so many crazy, undisciplined kids that I simply didn't want my own at the time. But I had to take a step back, it wasn't up to me anymore... this was God's plan for me and I needed to follow His will. Its tough to give up your dreams and desires to follow an unknown path full of unknown adventures, but I did it anyway. I had to toss my fear out the window and muster up enough faith to carry me through the next nine months of pregnancy.

Somehow, by some miracle... I was able to switch my major from Dance to University Studies - this change alone helped me to graduate about two months before Michael was born. I did it! I graduated college with my bachelor's degree! Maybe it wasn't the major I had originally chosen or the route I had originally planned... but after all was said and done, I still was able to accomplish my goal I had set for myself. Then things became a little bit easier for a while...until the hard times set in. I was used to dancing 9 to 10 hours a day, plus going to the gym, running my errands, doing laundry, cleaning the house, going to the temple and on dates with Aaron...ward activities, social outings, etc. And then I quickly changed from an active lifestyle to (in my eyes) a sedentary one. Not a fun switcharoo I must say. But somehow I was still able to get in my daily exercise regime and clean and craft... and all that jazz... just a little less dancing. Then came the time to prepare the nursery... crazy but I didn't really care to make it all cute. I really wasn't excited to have a baby. I had quite the bad attitude, I must say. Slowly, I decided to change my attitude. Since I couldn't change the situation, nor could I back out... it was time I found a way to enjoy the journey that was about to take place in my life. I started crafting and sewing and cleaning up a storm! I even made drapes for the nursery - and I'm not a seamstress! Miracles do happen! haha

For some reason I wasn't progressing on my own, so Aaron and I decided the doctor should induce me. Saturday Morning (Feb. 11th) I was induced and got the epidural after I was dilated to a 4 and then I pushed for two hours and there he was! The doctor let Aaron "catch" Mikey with him and place little Michael on my chest for the first time so he could meet his mommy. I held him and immediately started bawling. I began to try to calm his crying and had an infinite and instant love for this baby boy I had been carrying for the past nine months. It was such an overwhelming experience. Nothing could've prepared me for that moment. Its been a little over a month now since I gave birth to little Michael and its crazy how fast he has grown mentally and physically. He can roll over on his own and scoot across his blanket if you help him a bit. He is such a cuddle bug and loves to sleep on Mommy or Daddy's chest instead of in his bassinet or swing. I love being a Mom and taking care of such a cute and innocent little guy, but I must admit, Motherhood is exhausting hard work. Its tough waking up every few hours to feed him and change his diaper or soothe him to sleep again. And then waking up the next morning to do the same thing all day. I have found that its hard for me to get ready before 2 in the afternoon because he needs so much constant care. Its a luxury to take a shower now, rather than just something I had to do each day. :) Things change and you have to learn to do things really fast and while they are sleeping. Laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, getting ready for the day are just a few simple things that must get sped up and done in between feedings. Its definitely a new adventure, but I am willing to take it and find a way to enjoy every step of the way. It gets better every day. My advice to all new Mothers out there would be to keep up on your scripture reading, journal writing and prayers... for these are the things that will give you the strength to carry on through the hard times. Also, keep doing the things that make you happy. Work out, dance, sing, go outside for a walk, etc. Do what makes you you so that you can help your little one to become who they are supposed to be as well:). Find joy in every step of your new and exciting journey :) Stay positive and take it one day at a time!"

Thanks Kim and congrats again on your new little boy!

guest post, motherhood

Motherhood guest post #6

7:15 PM

It's time for another motherhood post! Today's guest is a dear friend of mine who has the cutest little girl ever and has quite a little personality. The pictures say it all!

When Heather asked me to be a guest blogger I felt honored and surprised. I guess sometimes I forget I'm a mother because you take on the role so easily the second they put that little baby into your arms. Well maybe not the exact second they put your baby in your arms. I know that for me, holding my baby was what I anticipated for my whole pregnancy and the truth is that when they put my Anna on my chest right after she was born I was in shock. I was thinking, "That baby came out of me? Really?" I was hoping for some grand moment where I just knew she was mine and that I loved her with all my heart. But honestly, I was just worried about her health, my health, and I was in so much shock that I survived childbirth. Once I recovered from the whole ordeal and Anna was cleaned up and brought to me though I knew that she was mine and that I loved her more than anything in the world. I didn't even know that I was capable of loving someone so much and I continue to learn about my capacity to love and it grows every day.

During my pregnancy I was worried about the dumb little vain things that every mom worries about. Will my baby be cute? Will she have hair? Will she like me? I really tried not to dwell on those fears because I had much larger fears that were more important. My biggest fear during my pregnancy that I still fear today is if I will be the person she needs. I want to be a better person for her. As a teenager I kind of lived my life however I wanted. I didn't really worry about preparing to be a mom someday. So now I am trying to change and become the mom that Anna needs. I am a work in progress everyday and some days are better than others. I don't always manage our lives very well, sometimes I lose my patience, and sometimes I just make stupid choices. The best thing at the end of the day though is that Anna still loves me and forgives me whether I was a good mom that day or not which gives me what I need to just keep trying and keep going on with life.

And although life can be hard sometimes the hard times are worth all of the rewarding, wonderful, amazing moments that I have with my daughter. I love the way that Anna gives me kisses right when I need them. I love that we get to be best friends and play together all the time. I love when I get to snuggle her at night and when we take naps together. I love that I get to teach her new things every day and that I am her favorite person in the whole world. There are so many cherished moments that I will never forget like the first time she smiled up at me.

Speaking of my most cherished moments-the best moments with Anna when she was a tiny baby happened when I was holding her. The best advice I have for a young mom is to hold your new baby whenever you can, don't leave your baby in the car seat at church or at home. Your little one will grow up faster than you think, and once they are big, they don't want much down time to snuggle with mom. You will love every second you get to connect with your baby. And although you want all the time to yourself don't forget your husband needs alone time to connect with your baby too. I underestimated my husband's ability to care for Anna but he has always been completely able to watch her and he needed the time with her too. Another piece of advice I have is to find time for yourself. Struggling with self-esteem and the weight loss after my baby was much easier because I made sure I took time to be alone to do something I enjoyed every week. If you can find 2-3 times per week to focus on you and nothing else you will be happy, rejuvenated, and a better mom. Lastly, don't be afraid to admit that you need your own mom's help! I have never relied on my mom so much and I have never been so grateful for her and all she did to raise me growing up. Being a mom is the greatest thing in the entire world, every day might not be spectacular but I guarantee that everything you endure will be worth it.

guest post, motherhood

Motherhood guest post #5

6:37 PM

Okay stupid moment. I have 3 different e-mail accounts, (don't ask me why) and I ventured into one that I have not used in a while and found another motherhood guest post! (Yikes....sorry Paige!) So without further delay, here is my dear cousin and her thoughts on motherhood. You can also read her cute blog here.

I was nervous to become a mother. Not nervous that I wouldn’t love my baby or that I would crumble from sleep deprivation. I was nervous that when I was handed my baby I would shutdown in ineptitude. I was worried that my inability to predict what’s next would make my planning-ahead tactic useless and I would, in a word, be incapable.

What I found was that taking care of my baby was incredibly natural. I remember the months leading up to Ada’s birth and watching fussy babies get passed to their mama’s arms. I watched the way that the mothers instantly soothed their little one. Could that be me? Will I be able to learn how to do that?

But it was so natural to step into my mothering-skin. I didn’t read books on parenting or research how to best prepare to care for a newborn. A lot of it was just trusting my instincts and my hands. It’s not that I did anything unique, it just came easily because Ada is my daughter, and I’m her mother. That’s the special kind of bond makes the mother the natural soother, the natural understander, the natural nurturer. I have come to know that mothers are very capable people. So, if you're a mother, trust yourself.

I planned on quietly finishing up the last few credits of my undergrad while I stayed at home with Ada and learned what my new-normal was. As it turned out, I was asked to speak at BYU’s Commencement and my husband was accepted to a graduate program in Bologna, Italy. My “quiet” few months turned into a few months of juggling. But I learned that I was able enough to handle it. In the midst of trying to nail down nursing, write a speech for 50,000 people, polish up my public speaking skills, finish up school, and prepare to move abroad, I found that I was capable of doing more than I thought I was.

I’m not perfect. There are many (many) days where I feel like I fell short. Where I feel like I can’t possibly do all that is asked of me. But I’m trying, day by day, to be proud of the small accomplishments of each day (today I showered, bathed Ada, did two loads of laundry, played endless rounds of peek-a-boo, went grocery shopping, nursed one-handed, made dinner AND found 10 minutes to read. Score).

Motherhood is about realigning our perspective. It’s about realizing how capable we are. It’s about trusting your instincts and your abilities. It’s about feeling divinely womanly. It’s about slowing down long enough to understand that while time goes fast, we don’t have to. Enjoy it. It is so, so precious.

guest post, motherhood

Motherhood guest post #4

12:04 PM

It's time for another motherhood post! Our next guest is Katy. I just recently visited her and her cute baby girl who is just the cutest thing ever.

"First of all, I am really happy to be writing a guest post about being a mom, but I feel very under qualified. I had my baby two months ago, and that time has gone by so quickly! I am still learning and discovering new things, but here is what I have to say about being a mother so far.

Some of the best advice that I received while I was pregnant was from a coworker who has a little 18-month-old little girl. She said to me “Don’t be worried if you aren’t absolutely over-the-moon in love with your baby the first time you see her.” I know that sounds very cynical, but she explained that before she had her little one, she wasn’t what you would call a “baby person”. She said that when she first held her baby, she was thinking “wow, this little person is just a stranger to me”. However, she warned me that if I felt that way, those feelings would come and I would grow to love her more and more as we got to know each other.

I have always adored babies, but it was true; the first time I saw my little Evelyn all I could really feel was overwhelmed. I had a very scary emergency C-section, and I wasn’t able to see her for her first seven hours of life, and then they finally wheeled me into the NICU to see her, I wept. It wasn’t the feeling that I had been expecting. It was a very overwhelmed feeling that left me thinking, “Oh my goodness, I am responsible for this little person’s life!” However, what my coworker said was true. Those feelings of love and attachment continue to grow day by day.

Two months out, I am still falling in love with her more and more every day. The first time she smiled at me and I felt like she recognized me, my heart exploded with joy. Her little wobbly head is the dearest thing I have ever seen. Her wide eyes staring at me from her car seat make me want to stop everything and stare right back. Every little development is cause for celebration. Call the grandparents! Post on Facebook! Our baby is amazing!

I now take about a thousand pictures of her every week, send my husband text messages about poop, and purposely catch projectile vomit with my shirt to keep it off of the furniture… and I love every minute of it.

I worried that having a baby would be hard on my marriage, and that my husband and I would not be as close as we always have been. We have found that you do have to work harder to make time for each other and spend time together, but there is nothing more beautiful and romantic to me than seeing my husband rock our baby to sleep. It has only made us stronger, but I think that has also been a choice on our part. I have a wonderful and supportive husband who splits her care 50/50 with me. He is so good with her, and I often think that she prefers him over me! That actually makes me very happy because I think every girl should grow up with an involved and loving father to watch out for them.

Being a mom so far has been life changing, but wonderfully so. I love my beautiful little family, and I know that we were meant to be together... and will be forever!"

guest post, motherhood

Motherhood guest post #3

11:51 AM

It's time for another post on Motherhood! Thanks to all who have participated so far! I love being able to read these and get a little glimpse on what motherhood is all about. Our next guest is Katrina. Reading this has eased my thoughts on moms that work after their child is born because I plan on being a working mom.

"To understand a mother's love, bear your own children."
-- Chinese Proverb

"The day my son Saxton was born was one of the most physically and emotionally challenging day of my life. The next was when I went back to work.

Not really a coincidence that some of the hardest things I have ever done, are tied to being a mom. Yikes! You’ve got to be made of some serious stuff to do this job! It begins with “Am I REALLY pregnant? We’ve only been trying for three weeks!” to “Bleh. Will the morning sickness (which is really every-minute-of-the-day sickness) EVER go away?!” to “Are those REALLY my ankles?!” and “I’m a size what...?” to the final “I CANNOT push one more time Dr. Rallison. It hurts. A lot!” Then comes the “Will I ever get more than two hours of sleep?” and “Could this car seat and diaper bag be any heavier?!” to “Wow. I had no idea you could crawl so fast. Guess I should have put that up higher.” and “I had no idea you could throw such a big tantrum!”

I could go on and on and on about all of the tough stuff that comes with being a mommy, but no one can ever prepare you for the first time you hold that tiny little baby, and for the COUNTLESS blessings that come with being a mom. Cliché? For good reason! From baby fingers a toes, to the first time you realize that you are having a semi-conversation with your little one (and that they are not so little any more), and everything in between; being a mommy is so worth it.

Because we live in a different type of world, I have the blessing and challenge of being a working mom. At first I thought I was a total and utter failure of a woman because I couldn’t be a stay at home mom, but I now realize what a blessing it is, and how much we have been blessed. It makes the time I get to spend with my little man and my hubby all the more sweet. Nothing makes me happier than to see his face when I come home from work, and to hear “Hi mommy!” My hubby and I are daily in awe at his development and growth, and of course, his super cuteness! He teaches me so much.

Although nothing can really prepare you to be a mommy, it’s a pretty great thing to realize you’re not doing a half bad job. Being a mom is really the greatest blessing in the world."

guest post, motherhood

Motherhood guest post #2

3:47 PM

Our next Motherhood guest is Janeal. Janeal is a new mother to the scene but has already learned so much from her little boy. All these cute little boys are making it easier to imagine me with one!

"Being a mom is so much better than I expected. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't thinking it'd be horrible, but I thought I'd be constantly exhausted, never have time to shower, neglect my husband, and be confined at home. But it's not like that at all!

The first few weeks of motherhood were incredibly hard. Recovering from giving birth, plus learning how to change a diaper, plus getting used to breastfeeding, PLUS dealing with insane hormones, equals crazy Janeal. I had to ask for help from family members several times. I'm so glad my husband was there to go through it with me. Still, I look at newborn pictures of Rowan and I miss it already.

Right now I'm a stay-at-home mom, and I love it. Watching Rowan learn and grow every day is amazing. I am blessed to be able to stay home with him while my husband supports us.

I love how happy Rowan is in the mornings. It's easy to wake up when I have a smiley baby cooing at me. He is a pretty content kid most of the time, but mornings are my favorite part of the day with him.

This may sound weird, but I also really love breastfeeding. It was so hard to get the hang of at first, and there were MANY times in that first month when I said I was giving up, but I have some very supportive people in my life, and they got me through it. Now, nursing is my special time with Rowan. It's the one thing that only I can give him.

There are three pieces of advice I would give any new mother:

1. Don't set your mind against something before you try it. Before Rowan was born, I said I would never use a pacifier. I heard all about nipple confusion with pacifier or bottle-fed babies, and I wanted to avoid that. I finally broke down and gave Rowan a pacifier when he was 2 weeks old, and I wish I had done it sooner! He had no problems with nipple confusion, and sucking on a pacifier put him right to sleep. I felt really stupid.

2. Take every piece of advice with a grain of salt AND realize that what works for one person might not work for you. These two pieces of advice go together. At my baby showers, I had a lot of experienced mothers tell me not to let the baby sleep in my room, or I wouldn't get any sleep myself. But I sleep with my baby in my room and have since he was born. I get plenty of sleep, too. Obviously that hadn't worked for the advice-givers, but it worked for me. Do what works for you and your baby, and don't feel guilty about it!

3. Take lots of pictures! It's amazing how different babies look from day to day, especially in that first month. You may not notice it, since you'll see your baby every day, but you'll be shocked looking back.

Before I had Rowan, I didn't know how many kids I wanted. In the first few weeks of his life, I couldn't imagine taking care of more than just him. Now, I can't wait to have more kids! I love being a mom!"